Marriage_In_The_Victorian_Era

There were many reasons why women in the Victorian Era got married. Many marriages during this time were the result of a lack of choice. Women had to marry men in their social class. As a result of a lack of education, women were expected to find someone to support them. They were only educated in domestic duties. Starting from a very young age, women were taught that their goals in life were to get married and to have children. Women of higher social class, like the Bennet's, were not expected to work. There were many financial and social pressures that resulted in women getting married. As it is evident in __Pride and Prejudice__, Mrs. Bennet wants her daughters to get married to ensure wealth for the future. Mr. Bennet's fortune can only go to a man, therefore if he dies, they would be left with nothing. Marriages during this time were mostly to secure business deals, increase wealth or raise status for the family [5]. Laws, social practices and economic structures narrows women's choices for meaningful roles in society. The people of this era emphasized the idealogy of the home. They felt it was extremely important for women to preserve the identity of the home. From the very beginning of the novel, Mrs. Bennet is obsessed with her daughters getting married. She wants nothing more than for Jane to marry Mr. Bingley. "If I can but see one of my daughers happily settled at Netherfield and all the others equally married, I shall have nothing to wish for" (11, Austen) [7]. Mrs. Bennet clearly shows the social and economic pressures. Socially, it was unacceptable to be single. If a woman was to remain single well into her twnties, or break an engagement, it was probable that she would live her life as a spinster [5]. If this were to happen to any of the Bennets, their social status would be ruined. The novel places much emphasis on social standards. Many of the problems in the novel are trivial, but to the characters, they are huge.
 * __Why Women Got Married -- Social and Economic Pressures__**

The social pressures are also evident when Elizabeth denies Mr. Collins' proposal. "It is very hard to think that Charlotte Lucas should ever be mistress of this house, that I should be forced to make way for her, and live to see her take my place in it!" (130, Austen) [7]. Mrs. Bennet is worried about her status and wealth after Mr. Bennet passes away. Even though this could be very far in the future, these social and economic pressures are tremendous. The women in this era want to know that they will be taken care of in the future. They want to ensure their wealth and their social standing. That is all that matters to them.

__**Upper Class and Marriage**__ It was imperative for a woman of the Victorian Era to be married to a man of an upper social class. Because women were not allowed to be educated in anything other than being a wife, they relied on their husband to make money and support the family [4]. All that these women needed to know was how to bring up their children and how to keep a house [8]. They seemed to believe that the most important thing that would come out of a marriage was wealth. If the man was not wealthy, then the woman would be unhappy. The only time that a woman was expected to work was when they were of a lower class [4]. By marrying into the upper class, this would be completely avoided.

Parents would search for a wealthy man and push them to marry into a well respected family. Social class was a main concern when a marriage took place. Just as people are judged today, family’s were judged during the Victorian era. Everyone in a family had to take responsibility for their actions. If a single person did something improper, the entire family would be accused [8]. Often the parents would be blamed for not bringing their children up in the correct manner. In the novel, __Pride and Prejudice__, Lydia (one of the sisters of the Bennet family) runs off with a man named Wickham. As a result, the entire family is blamed for her improper behavior. It is so important to the family’s reputation that Lydia is married to Wickham.

The better behaved a family is, the more of a chance they will have to marry their daughters into a well respected family. In __Pride and Prejudice__, by Jane Austen, Mr. and Mrs. Bennet take careful care that their daughters would be married to upper class men. As soon as Mr. Bingley came to town, it became a race to see which family could talk to him first. The family attended a ball in which each family tried to impress him and his family. Mrs. Bennet says that she wishes for nothing more in her life then that all of her daughters be married to men as good as Mr. Bingley.

__**Limited Rights of Women After Marriage**__

Married women had rights similar to the rights of children. A married couple was considered as one person. The husband was responsible for his hife and controlled her. The wife was to obey her husband, and do as he pleased. All property was controlled by the husband. Even if a woman brought personal property into the marriage, the man automatically took control of it. Most women, especially those in the upper class, were not to have a job. Even a woman did for some reason have a job, all of her income went to her husband. The job of a woman was to organize parties and dinners to bring prestige to her husband, making it possible for them to meet new people and establish economically important relationships. Her real job was devoting time to the children and maintaining the house. Women's bodies were considered to be the property of their husbands. Women did not wear make-up or any other adornments. They did not wear clothing that showed their skin or stockings [8]. In addition to being able to sing, play an instrument and speak a little French or Italian, the qualities a young Victorian gentlewoman needed, were to be innocent, virtuous, biddable, dutiful and be ignorant of intellectual opinion. Married women, as well as single women, were expected to be weak and helpness. They were supposed to be delicate creatures, incapable of making decisions beyond selecting the menu and ensuring their children were taught moral values. A woman's prime use was to bear a large family and maintain a smooth family atmosphere where a man need not bother himself about domestic matters. He assumed his house would run smoothly so he could get on with making money. The limited rights of women are evident in __Pride and Prejudice__. Mrs. Bennet has no wealth and everything she has belongs to her husband. All of his money and his estate would go to Mr. Collins if he passed away. The women in the novel also could not approach a man first. Mr. Bennet had to speak with Mr. Bingley before his daughters could meet him. The men in the novel have all the power and control. They decide the destiny of the women.

__**Men and Marriage**__ Men had different goals and reasons for marrying than women did. While women married for wealth and to find a lifetime support system, men tended to try and find the best looking wife they could. Most men during the Victorian Era did not appreciate their wives as they should have [6]. Wives were a necessary and important part of a man's life, for she tended to the home and children and kept him in line. Mr. Darcy, a character in Jane Austen's novel __Pride and Prejudice,__ illustrates how men had very little respect for women who could potentially be their wives.

"She is tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt me; I am in no humour at present to give consequence to young ladies who are slighted by other men" (Austen, 13) [7]. This quote, said by Darcy, shows that men were attracted to women purely on their looks. It proves that if a women did something a man did not approve of, and she did not look 'perfect', then the man was not interested in her.

Mr. Collins' character in __Pride and Prejudice__ also shows a view similar to that of Darcy's. "Why would you be surprised, my dear Eliza? Do you think it incredible that Mr. Collins should be able to procure any woman's good opinion, becuase he was not so happy as to succeed with you?" (Austen, 144) [7]. This quote is said by Charlotte after Collins proposes to her. Collins proposes to Charlotte, Elizabeth's best friend, only shortly after Elizabeth turns him down. This shows how little respect Collins has for women because he is able to move on from one to another so fast. Although Collins claims he loved Elizabeth and Charlotte, it is hard to really believe that to be true because of how fast he moved from one woman to the next. This, again, shows that men were not really into marrying for love, but rather just to have a wife to speak of and many brag about. Men were very picky and narrow-minded when choosing a wife and Darcy and Collins' characters in __Pride and Prejudice__ definitely represent a man's role in marriage.

For the wedding ceremony, men paid close attention to their wardrobe. Men mostly wore a frock coat with a flower, waistcoat, and trousers of various colors, but black was not an option. The frock coat was the most important part of a man's wedding attire in the beginning of the Victorian Era, and by the middle, they had changed their outfit to consist of a vest or morning coat. Hats were always common for men during marriage throughout the entire Victorian Era [2]. Men's clothing is seen below:



Preparation for a Victorian Wedding was very important. Women were very careful as to set the date of their wedding for a convenient and logical date. Most Victorian Weddings tended to take place in June. Even the day of the week mattered, to most women during this era. Weekends were mostly considered unlucky days to marry, and Sunday, the day of the Sabbath, was not an option [1]. Most weddings took place in the Church, although some did happen at the home of the bride or groom. The decorations were very elegant, elaborate, and an important part of the wedding. The guests at the weddings during this time mostly went unacknowledged. They entered quietly, and it was actually considered "bad taste" for the bride or groom to acknowkledge their friends, family, and acquaintances [1]. The bride's family was most important, and were the first to leave when the ceremony was complete. The people of the Victorian Era were also very picky about the wedding wardrobe of men, women, and children. Most wedding dresses were white during this time, however, women sought the 'best' dress before they sought a white one. This is why certain wedding dresses had color [2]. Examples of wedding dresses from the Victorian Era are seen below:
 * __The Wedding Ceremony__**

Wedding and engagement rings were also important to women of the Victorian Era during the time of their wedding. Diamonds were very scarce before the 1870's, so at this time, mostly colored stones were used, such as emerald and amethyst. When diamonds became available after the 1870's most wedding and engagement rings were made of them [3]. Examples of Victorian Era wedding rings are seen below: The Victorian Wedding ceremony usually took place in the morning, and was therefore also called a "Wedding Breakfast". The wedding breakfast is a formal ceremony, where the bride and groom get first choice of food, and those of highest rank follow [4]. The wedding guests were served their food while they were standing up, except for the bridal party, whom were seated while eating [1]. This, again, represents the idea that the bride's family were the most important and honored guests of the wedding.

A wedding in the Victorian Era is clearly very different from the way we have weddings today. Today, the bride and groom are both congratulated on their vows to spend the rest of their lives together. However, brides were not given this praise from guests during the 1800's, because it was honor enough for them to simply be getting married. In present day, brides and grooms are given the same respect and honor, while back in the 1800's the women were clearly not given the same honor the men were. This shows how times have greatly changed between the Victorian Era and now, especially in the area of weddings.

media type="custom" key="262317" 1) Hoppe, "The Victorian Wedding." 1997. 28 Oct 2007 <[|http://www.literary-liaisons.com/article003.html>.] 2) "The Victorian Era: The Wedding." __Romance EverAfter__. 28 Oct 2007 <[|http://www.romanceeverafter.com/Romance&You%20Victorian%20Era.htm>.] 3) "Victorian Rings." __Victorian Weddings__. 2005. 28 Oct 2007 <[|http://www.victoriana.com/bridal/wedding-rings.htm>.] 4) "Victorian Wedding Reception." __Victorian Weddings__. 2005. 28 Oct 2007 <[|http://www.victoriana.com/bridal/wedding-reception.htm>.] 5) Moore, Melissa . "Why Victorian Women Married." __Women' s Issues Then & Now__. 28 Oct 2007 [|http://www.cwrl.utexas.edu/~ulrich/femhist/marriage.shtml>.] 6) Tosh, John (1999). A Man’s Place. Masculinity in the Middle-Class Home in Victorian England. New Haven: Yale University Press. 7) Austen, Jane. __Pride and Prejudice__. Enriched Classic. New York: Pocket books, 2004 . 8) Thomas, Pauline. "A Woman's Place in 19th Century Victorian History." __Fashion-Era__. 28 Oct 2007 <[|http://www.fashion-era.com/a_womans_place.htm>.]
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